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January 16, 2006
four months old
See! Finn knows his numbers already!
Unfortunately for me, four months (plus a few days) means that it's time for me to return to work. My generous maternity leave is maxed out and I'll be working four days a week (three in the office, one at home) starting tomorrow. Our nanny, Fuey (pronounced "Fay") came over today to train--Finn really seemed to love her. She was the recipient of lots of his signature toothless smiles and animated coos. Tomorrow, I'll most certainly head to work with a big lump in my throat, but in the Bay Area, cost of living dictates that both mama and papa need to bring home the bacon. (Or in this case, the milk.)
Although it hasn't always been easy (and sometimes not even close to being easy), it's always been a blessing and an absolute privilege to be with this little guy during his first months on this earth. And as I mentioned before--I can't believe how far the two of us have come in just four months. There were days early on when I waited expectantly every day for a smile or some form of recognition (beyond rooting for my boob). And now? Well, let's just say you get a grand kicking and squealing reception when you walk in the room (and a indignant squawk when you leave it). I can usually tell just by looking at Finn if he's hungry, sleepy, bored, or just being a fussbudget.
When I went into work last week for a meeting, I realized that I was still instinctively listening for Finn's cries, peeps and squeals. I was careful when I crossed the street (like I would be if I was carrying him, not the daredevil free agent I once was) and my lap felt sadly empty of a little diapered behind and squirmy body.
Wish me luck as I return. I know Finn is in good hands--it's me who I think will take this hard.
Confidental to Santos: Don't think I won't miss days with my favorite mangy mutt. You were the one who kept me company while I waited for the baby to arrive and protectively fended off suspicious people from your hugely pregnant mama on our neighborhood walks. You were our first baby, dog version.
Posted by lisa at January 16, 2006 03:53 PM
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